Karen's Crossings ~~~~~~~~~ Yes Lord, Yes

Healing! Healing! Healing! The carrot Satan was dangling in front of my face had it written all over it backed with the sound of a smirk Satan’s laugh created as he enjoyed the torture. It was the subject of the scripture I had to read at the annual reading of the entire Bible regarding the woman who had bled for 12 years (Mk 5:25-34). It was the topic of the recent Sunday service about the paralyzed man of 38 years at the healing pool (Jn 5:1-15). One more trip to the church and I’ll bet you anything the subject would have been about the epileptic boy in Matthew 17:14-21, just teasing on the last one.



Tears got me through the reading of the Bible regarding the woman who was healed. That and the gentle hand of the next person in line to read who came up and gave me a hug to strengthen me in a weak moment. The lady in the Bible for 12 years had bled, for 12 years I was disabled with epilepsy. She knew, just as I knew, if we could just get to the cloak of Jesus healing would come.



What got me through the other healing story was the strength of the Lord. The connection I feel with that story, the one of the man at the pool who laid helpless on the ground waiting and hoping for someone to come along to help him into the pool was the question Jesus asked him. That and his determination to come faithfully every day to the pool in hopes of being healed. Yes, that day at the pool Jesus comes along and asks the question, “Do you want to be healed?” The preacher on Sunday admitted to having the same reaction I did when I first read the story, “Well, duh! Yes I want to be healed.”


Still reviewing the story in the Sunday sermon the preacher asked over and over again to the congregation, “Do you want to get well? Is there something you need healing from? Whether it’s a physical or spiritual condition the question pertained to all. The preacher wasn’t pointing his finger to just the back three rows on the left where three of us struggling daily with our diseases sat.


As I sat there thinking about what he was asking I knew in my heart the answer to the question. However, it wasn’t the answer some may have expected to hear. Honestly I have never thought about wanting to be healed from my cancer. It would be fantastic and I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity for nothing. If all it took was to be thrown in some pool I would go peacefully.


The healing that is on my heart is the desire to have those on my ALL UDDERS prayer list healed spiritually. The long list of family members, friends, and even total strangers I’ve been praying for that their relationship with God may be all that it should be.

Indeed the tears that came on Sunday after the sermon weren’t for me but for my ALL UDDERS and the healing I ask for them. In spite of the fact I was having a difficult time standing on my own as church ended the dangling carrot wasn’t for me it was for my ALL UDDERS. As my two granddaughters joined me in the sanctuary all they noticed were tears, they had no idea they were for them and many others and not for me. With a granddaughter on each side of me they grasped my hands as people did for me when I had seizures many years ago. The hugs they gave me, the support they supplied me was an awesome scene in my eyes.


Yes, the very hands I held as little kids supporting their wobbling attempts of standing and walking were now holding my hands as my bone cancer put a wobble in my step. Words can't describe how wonderful it is to have the support around me that I do from all sides. What a treasure in grandma’s heart, what a warm spot in my mind.


Heal? Heal? Heal? Put your carrot down Satan I’m not biting. Any time the Lord is ready to heal me I’m ready too. Until then I’m thankful my cancer is under control and that I have the company of those around me who love and support me, my ALL UDDERS and You Lord. May we all line up in the procession by the pool prepared to be healed physically and spiritually ready to answer when the Lord says, “Do you want to be healed?” Yes Lord, Yes!


***Later in the day after posting this on my blogspot my doctor told me they have found a fracture in my left shoulder blade around a cancerous area. How it happened will remain a mystery forever, now its time to heal and go on with my journey. Heavenly Father, as always I'm in your hands. Looking at the number of bone cancer lesions my body has I shouldn't be alive today. I'm thankful you were watching out for me to get it all under control when they did and that Your caring loving eyes and heart are still on duty. You are my Lord, the one who has never left me nor forsaken me. I welcome Your guidance and strength, I treasure Your love.                             Karen

Running Wounded

No wound? No scar? Yet as the Master shall the servant be, And pierced are the feet that follow Me; But thine are whole. Can he have followed far who has no wound nor scar? ~~ Amy Carmichael


Isn’t it funny how we think we can get through life without any wounds or scars? Too often we reason with the fact that Christ was the one wounded therefore we don’t have to be. We need to wake up and realize that wounds happen. Everyone is going to have their “scars” to heal and live with.


I love my Sunday school preschool kids. The boys are so cute when they get to comparing their scars received over the week. There always seems to be a skinned up knee or elbow to show off to the other boys who try to top each other’s wounds.


My grandson is one of those boys. He thinks he has the scar that could beat any other wound story in class. On his leg remains the reminder of the time when he was one-year-old and was burnt severely by McDonald’s coffee and air-lifted to a burn center 200 miles away.


It doesn’t matter who has the most wounds or who gets the prize for the “biggest” scar. The important part is in the healing. We can’t be afraid to get in and do certain things like witnessing for Christ in fear of being wounded. “Oh, what if someone says something to me or what if this happens.”


Revisiting the Garden of Gethsemane we find Christ was concerned about what was ahead of Him. Who could ever forget His prayer? “If this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.” In other words, “Not my will but Yours be done.” Its been said that the word BUT erases everything that came before it. In this case that is a good thing. In our cases it’s usually used to make excuses. “I would give more to the church BUT I need a new car. I would love to serve in the soup line BUT I just don’t have the time to go there.” No one likes to be wounded for any reason but (oh there’s that word again) it’s what we do with our wounds that make them important.


Recently as I was observing my daughter and things she was going through raising her four kids I noticed how she appeared to be “running wounded.” As life was throwing up one blow after another she was unable to recover from one before the next hit. She had no time to heal from the first therefore she was, “running wounded.” What was important was the fact that she kept on going, eventually the healing came, the scars formed but she was way ahead in life.


We need to keep on going and learn how to keep on “running wounded” until the healing comes. We can do this when we realize the person running along beside us has His own wound and scars such as it says, “pierced are the feet that follow me.”


I don’t know about you but I’m not proud of a lot of my wounds but I’m proud of my scars because of the healing they represent. Healing God has helped me with as He nursed my wounds and tended to my hurts. It begins with turning to Him and lifting up our wound before Him like a young child asking their daddy or mommy to kiss their “owie.”


We don’t have to run wounded forever if we run along side of God. Believe it or not healing is a choice. We can allow God to heal our emotional and spiritual wounds or we can sit around picking off the scabs before the scar of healing has a chance to even form. Sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves keeping our wounds open inviting in further infections and deeper damage.


Trust me, I’ve been there and done that and all I got was a deeper wound. Run wounded to God, stay there beside Him until the healing comes! For once again, pierced is the feet that follow me, He knows what its like to be wounded.

© 2011 Karen J Gillett @ Pencil Marks and Recipes Publishing

Karen's Crossings Her not Me

Recently at a funeral of a local farmer killed in an accident my niece Stephanie had one of her seizures she frequently has. As I knelt nearby in support of her and my sister I began to cry as I watched her go through the motions I once did when I had seizures. Part of the tears that surfaced was tears from a longing to see her cured as I was cured.


However, the majority of the tears this time were from something I remembered her saying to me nine months ago. Just before Christmas when I was diagnosed with breast and bone cancer she revealed to me her recent prayers. “Aunt Karen,’ she said. ‘I have been praying for you to be cured of your breast cancer. I told God it was okay to hold off on curing me if it freed Him up enough to cure you Aunt Karen.”


The tears that flowed then are still flowing as I think about what she was saying. Although she has been dominated by seizures most of her life she was willing to set that aside to see me cured of my breast cancer. Her request to the Lord was, “Her not Me.” It was a precious thought that demonstrated her love for me in a very large way.


As I remained at her side while her seizure completed its course I thought of how wonderful it is to know there is enough of God to go around for everyone to love and enjoy. He is bigger than we think and more powerful than we could ever realize. He doesn’t have to hold off curing one person in order to be able to heal another. It’s not up to us to know why one person manages to get cured of their disease while another struggles with theirs. All that matters is our love and faith in the one who is capable of healing, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ


This week my niece is going in to the hospital again to have her seizures monitored in hopes of finding the cure needed to free her from her disease. During this time let us lock our shields of faith together and lift her before the Lord as we pray without ceasing for God to wrap His loving arms around her. That He will hold her there in loving protection as He works out His will in her life.

October is breast cancer awareness month. Let’s make it also the month of awareness of God and the greatness of His power and the depth of His love.


I love you Steph! I love you Jesus!


**This is a scarf I made in 2010 for Breast Cancer awareness month. Who would have known the next year I would be adding my own name. Trust, its all about trust. No one knows what the futures hold.

Tattered, Torn and Faded

“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 33:17-18





In my Bible the page this verse falls on is kind of tattered, torn, and faded. It’s a scripture I have leaned on so many times the imprint its left on my shoulder remains there like a fresh tattoo. In fact it’s where I am right now as I suffer from the heart disease called “broken” secondary to being crushed in spirit.




Each day as I read this scripture I curl myself up in a fetal position in between the “He delivers them from all their troubles” and “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” There I wait patiently for my Heavenly Father to put His arms around me and tell me everything is going to be okay.




Upon reading this scripture and believing the truth in it that God will hear the cry of the righteous and deliver them from all their troubles we need to know in our hearts that eventually things will be alright. Truly as much as we would like to have the added clause at the end of the verse that says, “PS Come to Me and you will never experience being brokenhearted or crushed in spirit” its not there. We can read it all we want, change translations, or peak in between the lines but it’s not going to show up it’s a waste of energy. When you are feeling brokenhearted the last thing you need to waste is your energy because you have so little of it.




What we need to be doing with our energy is turning to the Great Physician for treatment of our temporary disease. Crying out to Him and waiting for the delivery to happen. We can either do as we’re told or turn our backs on it pouting as we say, “If He really loved me this wouldn’t be happening right now.” It’s not God’s fault I am brokenhearted right now. He didn’t cause it but He can cure it with His love, strength, wisdom, grace and guidance.





The problem is we need to want to be cured, to take our medication of being patient and wait for the Lord to work in us. We need to know and believe in our hearts that we don’t have to wind up like Humpty Dumpty where there weren’t enough of the kings men to put him back together again. With our Lord and Savior, Kind of Kings there is enough of Him to put us back together again. Definitely enough of Him to heal the tattered and torn and faded spirit that lies in pain within us.




It’s our choice to make our pain a permanent tattoo or a temporary one that will eventually go away. We may not know when it will happen or what the process will be but that’s where faith and trust come in to sustain us. If we do this before we know it we will find ourselves rising from our fetal positions to stand strong before the Lord facing the world in His strength.



Our job is wound care, God’s job is healing. God can’t do His job if we aren’t properly taking care of the wound in the first place. Too often we like to pick at the scab, open the wound up all over again only to create a bigger irritation and more of an infection than we had in the first place. Nope, instead we need to pick up the Bible and spread upon our wounds the healing ointment of knowing God hears He’s not ignoring us. He delivers not abandons. He is close not far away. He saves He doesn’t throw away. He restores the tattered and torn and brings back to life the faded in spirit.




Praise the Lord for His healing, Praise the Lord for His care!

© 2011 Karen J Gillett @ Pencil Marks and Recipes Publishing

Only God

IOW quote 3-14-08

“No matter how many good friends I had, there were aspects of my life I needed to deal with alone - heart issues and attitudes that could not be wrestled with in a Bible study...They had to be confronted by the Holy Spirit in the privacy of my own soul.” From “A Glimpse of Grace" by Mary Forsythe (with Beth Clark).

Oh boy! Been there done that, wasn’t easy!!!

It was during a time in my life that wasn’t pretty. Running out of tricks to pull out of my hat I tried one last thing to cope with present situations. Innocent as it was, it was an unwise decision on my part. However, before I became aware it, I found myself wrapped tightly in a self-set trap around the leg of my heart. How I was going to get out it I had no idea. “What was the solution?” I asked myself.

I realized in my heart I needed to hear from God and God alone on this one. I had always trusted Him to help me work out my shortcomings but this was beyond those. Thus for over three years I drug around the trap I had sprung on myself with the sound of the chain dangling from it echoing loudly in my heart. Over and over again the clanging sound was a reminder of what I had done. I knew what my mom, friends, co-workers or sisters would advise me to do but this was a God only issue and painfully I kept it to myself.

Only God held the solution to the wound I had created on myself. A physician assistant wouldn’t do. I needed to hear from the Great Physician Himself. If the pain of the situation wasn’t bad enough it became even more complicated. Because I refused to listen to outside sources Satan knew the only way he could bring me down was to disguise himself as an angel of light. Cleverly working behind the scenes he camouflaged his lies to appear to be the truth. “God wants you to be happy, go ahead. Follow your heart. You’ve lived with enough pain this is your way out. You deserve this, go for it. Just think of the things you can do and become. Did I mention that God wants you to be happy!”?

Tempted, as I was to listen to these whitewashed half-truths something held me back from going too far. Frustrated for answers one day in my house as I anointed my home with oil praying for answers, crying for mercy I cried out to God. “Come down here right now and plant yourself on my couch.” I demanded in tears. “I need some answers!” In pure exhaustion I fell back in my chair opposite the couch overlooking it as if God heard my demand and consented to come down for a house call.

For several hours I sat there talking and crying out to my Lord. I may not have received the answers I was looking for that night but I did receive the peace my heart required to continue to wait, to be still and not get frustrated. To give the Holy Spirit the breathing room He needed to work in my heart and my life. Soon afterwards I noticed the wound I had created was beginning to heal, the infection was clearing up. Only a scar remained as a reminder that some things do require God only assistance to heal or change. Praise the Lord for the Great Physician. Forgive me Lord I wasn’t a better patient!

CLOSING THOUGHT: Shame on us for thinking we need to save only the “big” stuff for God to work on in our lives. The things we tried to do and couldn’t. We need to be turning to Him more often. Perhaps if we would try Him first the little stuff wouldn’t turn so quickly into the full-size things we load ourselves down with to the point we feel like we’ve fallen and can’t get up. The most important thing to remember is that we are NOT alone; we never have been and never will be, Praise the Lord. Only God, there’s no better way to go.

Dear Heavenly Father opening this old wound to write about it has brought back the tears of old pain, the vision of the old pus that use to drain from it. Use this Dear Lord to help another find the healing and the peace they are searching for in their lives. I love you too Jesus. Thank you for loving us.


Our host this week is Michelle over at, Because I Love You. Hobble on over there and see and share what others have to say about this week’s quote.