Today as I got the news that 2014 wasn't over with yet I felt a fear of what I was facing as Jehoshaphat must have felt in his situation. My year started with my medication not working, my cancer spread in my pelvis area to where I needed radiation treatment. I lost my appetite due to the treatment and lost forty pounds in an unhealthy rapid rate. A spot was found on my brain, a blood clot in my lung followed by a metastasis of my cancer to my liver.
Late in the fall finally came the arrival of the good news that my chemo medicine was finally working. Tumor markers were going down and my spirit going up. However, as much as I had hoped that 2014 had come to an end this day on the 2nd of December it hadn't. More bad news had arrived just in time to make the honorary mention list of bad news for the year.
The news was the fact that the anemia I was fighting was not chemotherapy induced. My own body out of something better to do decided to kill off its own red blood cells. Further tests are needed to be ordered and suddenly I find myself back to where I first began in a hide and seek game of trying to find the answers and match them with solutions. I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid.
However, just like Jehoshaphat no matter how scared I might feel I need to do what he did and set myself to seek the Lord. I pray that as I do that, those around me will do the same as they ask God for help and seek Him regarding my health and their own personal need for strength.
If you think about it we have no problem setting our watch to a certain time or setting the sprinkler system to go off at a designated moment or set our minds on the new car we want. With practice it should be no problem for us to set our minds and hearts on seeking God.
At times we may encounter difficulties in some things such as the setting up of our computer or the new VCR but with great determination we continue until we figure out a way to get it done.
Well it should be equally not a problem but a priority to set ourselves to seek God. To storm proof our lives thru prayer and seeking God. Whether its easy for us to do or difficult we need to have that determination in us to see that we continue on until we have accomplished our goal of seeking God.
Too often we think its Him who is in charge of the seeking but we're wrong. We are the ones who need to seek Him out. We do so by looking past our circumstances and keeping our eyes on Him. It is by seeking God today that we are able to walk into tomorrow un-encumbered, walking in strength.
As I was told when I first got cancer whatever you do "Don't google it" it will scare you with too much information. It was a lesson the person who said it had learned the hard way and she wanted to pass it on down to me. As I spoke with my daughter for the final time at the closing of my day her words to me echoed that same lesson of "whatever you do mom, don't google it. Get some rest."
Instead of feeding my fear she wanted me to look passed what was right in front of me long enough to set myself on seeking God instead. A far better way to begin my night and a grander entrance to my new day soon to follow.
Truly it is a better way for all of us, to set ourselves on seeking God and when we do He will never cease to amaze us at what we will find in Christ.
Set on seek. That's my next move! How about you?
Sent from my iPhone
2 comments:
Set to seek. Me too. Praying for you as you seek, praying for you to be immersed in rest, to deeply feel the peace that passes all understanding. In Christ, surrounded by His strength and love. I love you, my dear sweet sister, Karing.
Karen, I've mostly taken a break from blogging, but was thinking of you this week and wondering how you were. I am sorry that you have more dark news, but I'm praying that you feel His Light as you face the days to come. You are often in my prayers. ((hugs))
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