I have a confession to make. In my darkest times when people would tell me that everything was going to work out for the better I didn’t believe them. At times it would make me mad, “why should I have to go through “point A” to get to “point B. Why couldn’t everything work out for the good now?” My night vision wasn’t what it should have been as my spiritual maturity level and ability to trust and believe in God’s grace wasn’t there either.
Little did I know it would be those walks in the dark that would help me gain the spiritual maturity needed to improve my night vision. I had to learn for myself that what they say is true, “our best understanding comes from looking back but life has to be lived going forward.”
We can’t live our lives like the young boy who spilled his milk on the kitchen floor and his mom asked him to go out on the back porch and get the mop to clean it up. “But it’s dark out there mommy,” he exclaimed. Reassuringly mom told him, “God was out there and there was nothing to be afraid of.” Next thing she knew she heard her boy opening the back door, quietly sticking only his head outside he said, “God since you are already out there could you hand me the mop?”
I think that is the way most of us are with our darkest moments. We quietly stick out only our head instead of our hearts to ask God since He’s already out there could He just hand over the good times, glory, and grace He has for us.
We’re so busy hovering in the corner that we miss out on the grace God has for us. When I first got cancer I wanted to just curl up in a corner somewhere and pull a blanket over my head. A month or more after my diagnosis a co-worker’s husband was diagnosed with cancer in his ear. Interestingly enough she echoed the same desire to curl up in a corner and hide.
Although that is what our flesh wants to do we don’t need to follow that feeling. What we need to do is believe that God is at work. He hasn’t gone off duty. He isn’t ignoring us. There was no mistake in the glory and grace machine in Heaven that withdrew our portion of it.
The beauty of it all is knowing and believing that God is out there. He’s not somewhere out of touch but close by. For the few days I felt like I wanted to hover in that far corner in the dark God was there with me with His arms around me quietly holding me till my strength returned. God hadn’t let me down. I had let myself down by not believing.
Our part is so simple. All we have to do is believe and trust and watch for His grace to arrive. Unfortunately we like to complicate things by impatiently wanting it now, not recognizing good grace when we see it, and wanting more at our demand and terms.
Often God’s best delivery time is between the hours of us traveling from “Point A to Point B” because He has our undivided attention. It would do us good to practice sticking out our whole hearts to Him and believe instead of only our heads and the fickle thoughts that often linger there. Amen? Yes, Amen!!!!!
© 2011 Karen J Gillett @ Pencil Marks and Recipes Publishing