IOW quote 3-14-08
“No matter how many good friends I had, there were aspects of my life I needed to deal with alone - heart issues and attitudes that could not be wrestled with in a Bible study...They had to be confronted by the Holy Spirit in the privacy of my own soul.” From “A Glimpse of Grace" by Mary Forsythe (with Beth Clark).
Oh boy! Been there done that, wasn’t easy!!!
It was during a time in my life that wasn’t pretty. Running out of tricks to pull out of my hat I tried one last thing to cope with present situations. Innocent as it was, it was an unwise decision on my part. However, before I became aware it, I found myself wrapped tightly in a self-set trap around the leg of my heart. How I was going to get out it I had no idea. “What was the solution?” I asked myself.
I realized in my heart I needed to hear from God and God alone on this one. I had always trusted Him to help me work out my shortcomings but this was beyond those. Thus for over three years I drug around the trap I had sprung on myself with the sound of the chain dangling from it echoing loudly in my heart. Over and over again the clanging sound was a reminder of what I had done. I knew what my mom, friends, co-workers or sisters would advise me to do but this was a God only issue and painfully I kept it to myself.
Only God held the solution to the wound I had created on myself. A physician assistant wouldn’t do. I needed to hear from the Great Physician Himself. If the pain of the situation wasn’t bad enough it became even more complicated. Because I refused to listen to outside sources Satan knew the only way he could bring me down was to disguise himself as an angel of light. Cleverly working behind the scenes he camouflaged his lies to appear to be the truth. “God wants you to be happy, go ahead. Follow your heart. You’ve lived with enough pain this is your way out. You deserve this, go for it. Just think of the things you can do and become. Did I mention that God wants you to be happy!”?
Tempted, as I was to listen to these whitewashed half-truths something held me back from going too far. Frustrated for answers one day in my house as I anointed my home with oil praying for answers, crying for mercy I cried out to God. “Come down here right now and plant yourself on my couch.” I demanded in tears. “I need some answers!” In pure exhaustion I fell back in my chair opposite the couch overlooking it as if God heard my demand and consented to come down for a house call.
For several hours I sat there talking and crying out to my Lord. I may not have received the answers I was looking for that night but I did receive the peace my heart required to continue to wait, to be still and not get frustrated. To give the Holy Spirit the breathing room He needed to work in my heart and my life. Soon afterwards I noticed the wound I had created was beginning to heal, the infection was clearing up. Only a scar remained as a reminder that some things do require God only assistance to heal or change. Praise the Lord for the Great Physician. Forgive me Lord I wasn’t a better patient!
CLOSING THOUGHT: Shame on us for thinking we need to save only the “big” stuff for God to work on in our lives. The things we tried to do and couldn’t. We need to be turning to Him more often. Perhaps if we would try Him first the little stuff wouldn’t turn so quickly into the full-size things we load ourselves down with to the point we feel like we’ve fallen and can’t get up. The most important thing to remember is that we are NOT alone; we never have been and never will be, Praise the Lord. Only God, there’s no better way to go.
Dear Heavenly Father opening this old wound to write about it has brought back the tears of old pain, the vision of the old pus that use to drain from it. Use this Dear Lord to help another find the healing and the peace they are searching for in their lives. I love you too Jesus. Thank you for loving us.
Our host this week is Michelle over at, Because I Love You. Hobble on over there and see and share what others have to say about this week’s quote.