After raising chaos in the chemo room it was time to see the doctor. The news he had or me was my RBC count was dropping, anemia was still an issue. However, that wasn't where the list stopped. When he did stop he paused for a minute and asked me how my "fighter" was. After all, he added, 'you have a lot on your plate. You've had it pretty rough."
When I got home I thought about what the doctor had said. As I thought I began to list the things on my plate. It wasn't like the plate a kid might fill. A plate where mom and dad can tell them they have a little too much on it so they need to choose what to put back.
Unfortunately sometimes it isn't as easy as that to do. Some things we find on our plate are naturally there, there by choice or by accident or by the luck of life's draw. They can be too much of a good thing and not enough of another.
As I stared down at my plate I just created I looked intensely at the things I would like to take off. Through tears and anguish I quickly filled the top six on my list. They were my four cancers, which in turn would make medication maintenance and chemo treatments number five and six.
As Jesus dealt with His anguish of asking God to remove what He was going through so did I (Mathew 26:39). In tears I cried out as Jesus did asking if it was possible to let the six things on my list pass from me and permanently be taken from my plate.
It was there I felt a pause in my prayer. I had prayed as Jesus did but not completely. I stopped before adding the part, 'not as I will but as Your will be done.' As much as I wanted a lighter plate it was going to have to be up to God and I needed to accept that.
Life happens and we find ourselves holding a full plate. Our job is to not add unnecessary things to an already full load. Recently one thing I added unknowingly was the loss of my hair. Little did I know I wasn't accepting the inevitable. I was mourning the loss one hair at a time. Finally after breaking down I cut my hair and latter my husband shaved it for me to make it look better.
The deal is, I needed to be like the lady and I were in the chemo room. I needed to be spending my time waiting for God in praise and laughter making those around me to join in song and dance. Dancing to the tune of 1 Corinthians 10:13 where we are promised by God that He won't give us more than we can bear. Praise the Lord.
This is why, Jesus is the one, who like the clinic, is willing to ask us back no matter how goofy we are or worldly in our worries and fear. Therefore in a last attempt to hold up my full plate properly I cried out again and again:
Come Jesus help me hold my plate.
Come Jesus lighten my load.
Come, Jesus I am waiting
Come Jesus the Savior I know.
Copyright March 2015 Karen J Gillett @ Pencil Marks and Recipes Publishing
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