Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Karen's Crossing~~~~But As For Me

In the Bible several times in the Psalms they use the phrase "but as for me." In Psalms 71:14,16 it doesn't say that but I am writing in those words to match the ones in my heart. "But 'as for me' I will hope continually, and praise You yet more and more. I will go in the strength of The Lord God."

The psalmist here was telling about how he had made God his trust, hope, refuge, rock, and his youth. He then talks about how he wants God to deliver him from his enemies. From there we hook up with a big BUT to verses 14 and 16 I just wrote about. 

This was a scripture I had picked out the morning of a doctor's appointment. As I tried to get my expectors out of the closet to expect the best this scripture gave me three things to help me with my task. It told me to hope continually, praise God more and more, and to go in the strength of The Lord. 

There I had it balled up in three things I needed to do. All through the morning I thought of these three things. I realized in my heart when you pray it's not only to ask something of God its to get our own instructions and I did. I had my job to do while God did His. 

At last my appointment time had arrived or so I thought. I was off by two hours. Two hours early wasn't going to be easy to kill but my granddaughters and I went to a museum in the area that worked just fine. Little did I know it was God who tampered with my schedule putting the extra one in front of 1:30 to arrange His time to talk with me.  

Once at the museum laughter was in the air as my 13 and 11 year old granddaughters tried to push me up and down the hills in a wheelchair. I'm sure it was  more fun for me than them. 
After the museum it was finally time for my real appointment. Thus I returned at my regularly scheduled time. The first thing the doctor asked was do you want your granddaughters to hear your results. My heart fell from my chest just to splatter on the floor. I knew the news was bad. 

My efforts to keep my expectors high started failing fast when I brought out my scripture for the day. With an added "as for me" clause I quickly connected it to the rest. "As for me, I will hope continually, praise Him more and more, and go in His strength." There was no added clause from God nor me that said "if only things are going good."  I still had my job to do it and I did. I had to be strong for the kids and myself and doing as the scripture told me too helped. 

As my granddaughter Brooke struggled and pushed hard to get me up a hill at the museum it was my turn to get behind the chair to struggle hard to get me up the emotional hill I was facing. The hill of finding out my cancer was now officially in my lungs and oral chemo was no longer an option. Suddenly I was out of breath like Brooke and Jayleena in their efforts and I hadn't even started. 

I had come to a hill and I knew that hoping in God continually would do the trick. I couldn't stop hoping now over some bad news. Often that is when we need hope the most. I couldn't break the continue cycle now or I'd roll down backwards the steep slope I just climbed. The end results would be the same as if the girls gave up on pushing me and back down the hills I would go only to crash at the bottom. I don't want to crash at the bottom. 

Next thing to do was to praise God more and more. This was easy. What!? Easy?  Yes easy. I learned with my epileptic seizures the negative results of worrying and getting upset over things. They were uncontrolled stress seizures that dominated my life for twelve years. I also learned good or bad we need to praise God and be thankful. 

We don't have to thank him for our cancer or the car accident or the disease that took a love ones life. Our job is to be thankful to God for who He is and His blessings. No I can't say my cancer is one if His blessings. But what I glean from it and others could be the blessing. 

As my husband and I cried and hugged each other he told me he felt like we were being punished. I told him it does feel that way but God doesn't operate that way. It says so in the Bible when he went to cure a blind man. John 9:1-5. Someone asked Jesus who sinned, him or his parents to cause him to be born blind. Jesus replied "neither. But the works of God should be revealed in him."  

Awesome, that gives me grounds for more and more praise as God's
 work is revealed in my life, possibly my healing. It could happen, I have my hope and trust. If it doesn't happen this is happening to grab hold of my family and revealing in themselves how to love and trust God. Learning to see God as I always have and to draw near to Him walking simultaneous with Him not two or three steps behind or ahead. 

As far as part three of my job that's easy. I often feel I have no strength at all and I have been living off borrowed strength from Jesus all along. Trying to use my own strength years ago would have ended up in a suicide mission in myself both physically and spiritually. 

Our best reliable source of strength is Jesus. It last longer than the candy bar we ate for strength or the beer we guzzled for strength or the food we gorged down for strength. All may be temporary resources but we need lasting results. It is thru Jesus and the reading of his word that we get that. 

Yep, as for me I turn to Jesus. My continual hope, everlasting praise, and supplier of unbeatable strength. 

Whew! I'm out of breath or finger strokes I should say as I rattled on and on. Thanks for stopping by. Hope you had a great read.    Karen

Copyright 2015 Karen J Gillett at Pencil Marks and Publishing 

Sent from my iPhone

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