Okay people I have had it! I give up. I can't take it any more. I am sick of all this. I'm having a pity party and you are all invited. Refreshments will be served such as sorry for me soup, things are terrible tea, and down in the dumps,so I might as well stay there, dessert.
Being the host of this party it's my duty to go first so let me begin by setting out the refreshments.
1. I'm sick of taking all these medications. For someone who never "did drugs" I'm living off them now.
It's those drugs that have extended your life four years and keep you going for whatever time frame God has in store for you ahead.
2. I can't hike up a mountain trail, climb rocks, or walk any great distance, or sit too long in one place because of my bone cancer.
Honestly I never did want to climb rocks. Riding a mountain trail on a horse sounds more appealing, although that would hurt too. Just the same the mountains still hold a beauty that sustains me. Everyone needs a balance between sitting too much and walking too far.
3. I had to quit a job I loved and had for 17 years in order to go off and die because my cancer was getting the best of me making it difficult to work.
I was blessed to find such a job and given such an opportunity after being out of the work force because of my epilepsy. The memories and friendships I have picked up over the years will never die but only further blossom.
4. Every time I've gone into the doctor it seems like my cancer has spread some place new.
What is spreading more rapidly is your witness for Christ and how His strength, love, mercy and grace works. Modern technology is wonderful as its able to catch things early.
5. My radiation treatment made me so sick I couldn't eat and lost forty pounds.
You've never had such a successful diet. You look good and feel great. You learned you could survive without certain foods and you could learn to live on less of others.
6. My epilepsy 25 years ago and now my cancer has robed me of my independence. I can't be a free woman.
You're are blessed to be surrounded by such a fantastic support team. It's something you wouldn't give up for the world. In Christ you are free. Cancer can't bind you up or enslave you unless you allow it. You are a free woman thanks to God.
7. Worry, worry, worry. I am tired of worrying all the time. I worry about my tumor markers going up, my cancer spreading, falling down and breaking my bone cancer stricken pelvis. I worry about my family being ok if I'm called home to Heaven early.
If you're worrying too much that's your fault not your cancer's. God tells you not to worry for tomorrow has enough of its own. You need to trust God more and lean on His wisdom and strength not your own. Remember to just glance at your troubles yet stare towards Jesus.
Suddenly after attempting to set up the refreshment table for my pity party something hit me. I was no longer feeling sorry for myself. Things weren't as terrible as I made them out to be. I may have visited the dumps but I didn't have to stay.
Really I had a lot to be thankful for. A lot to praise God for. God hadn't left me. I was the one who moved away from Him in my attitude and choices.
Therefore my "invitees" I am pleased to announce the pity party has been cancelled. Instead come and bring your own thankful tea, praise God always punch, and don't forget what God is doing and has done for you dessert.
We will celebrate being blessed.