If you have ever cried yourself to sleep at night it is an overwhelming feeling that seems to last forever. A feeling of hopelessness surrounds you as it seems like you’re all alone in your own little world. As dark as things may seem at the time daylight is always around the corner as the moment eventually passes.
It’s in these moments that we need to just be still before the Lord and listen for that whisper in the night, “I am with you. I am with you.” One of our first reactions when we think God is near enough is to hit Him up with the “Why me?” question. Instead of trusting that God will see us through and that He knows what He is doing we instantly want the answers to our question of “why?” It reminds me of the grandkids when they were little. It didn’t matter what was going on the question of “Why Grandma?” always came up.
Often I couldn’t answer their question because not all situations or circumstances have an answer to why it happened. Like it or not they had to trust my judgment that I knew what I was doing and the reason why didn’t matter. We need to do the same with God. As much as I wanted to know why I got epilepsy, why I lost my job, why did it have to be me who couldn’t have more kids, why, why, why it wasn’t for me to know at the time. If I would have been listening at the time I probably would have heard God tell me, “Karen, I can’t tell you why just now but some day it will make sense.” And you know what? Twenty plus years after I was cured as the daylight appeared around the corner I can see many answers to my “Why me?” saga.
One of the reasons was to get the “Why me’s” out of the way in order to not be overwhelmed by my diagnosis of cancer. What I got out of dealing with my epilepsy, the strength and trust I learned were the very tools I needed in my pocket to see me through my breast and bone cancer that showed up more than twenty years later.
Thanks to lessons already learned I’m finding it easier to hold on fast instead of setting up shop to throw my all famous pity parties no one seemed to want to attend but me. Instead of lashing out at God for what was happening to me I find myself welcoming His embrace as I hold on to the source I know is there to walk me through the darkness until daylight shows up.
Remember as kids when your sibling or a friend accidentally hurt you and then they tried to comfort you in your pain you pushed them away. After all they were the ones who caused the pain in the first place. We do that with God way too often. We push Him away accusing Him of being the cause of the pain so we want Him to go away. Boy do we have it wrong. When we are suffering we like to pick an easy target to strike out at and it always seems to be God.
Life happens, pain will come and go. Darkness may be here at the present but daylight is just around the corner. God isn’t out to afflict as many people as He can in an end of the century quota He needs to fill. He is there to see us through these times. They are times of learning to trust, to strengthen our faith, and to get us to grow spiritually as we learn how to get through the night the best possible way we can by hanging on to the hand of the Lord.
More important than “why” is “how” we get through these times in our lives. We can go through fighting to win or go through defeating our own purposes. It’s not all in the answers, its all in our attitude. Daylight is on its way and we need to believe that.
© 2011 Karen J Gillett @ Pencil Marks and Recipes Publishing