Karen's Crossing~~~Setting Curfew

As a young kid when dad set the curfew of when we needed to be home there were no negotiations or excuses. He knew what was best for us whether we believed him or not. When he said to be home by ten he meant just that whether we liked it or not.

Recently because of my cancer spreading to my liver my doctor was concerned I didn't have much more time to live. The sound of her prognosis weighed heavily on my heart. What kind of preparations did I need to make? What about a will, a burial plot, unfinished business that needed done or final goodbyes needing to be said. Every second seemed to count as my clock on life was ticking down.

One day as I was trying to keep myself from slipping down into some kind of depression I thought about dad setting my curfew as a kid. Spiritually that is what God does for us. Our Heavenly Father is the one who tells us when we need to be home. When He calls the curfew there is no negotiating it whether we like it or not. He knows best.

The bottomline is its not up to the doctor or anyone else to set the curfew on when we need to be home in Heaven. Our Heavenly Father does that. Our part is being ready spiritually when the time is set.

Over the past six months part of that preparation was going on as I was getting nothing but bad news. Everything seemed to be going wrong all the way from my cancer medicine stopped working to new bone cancer, cancer in my liver, to a possible cancer spot on my brain, to a bloodclot in my lung and four failing medications. Plus tumor markers going from 27 to 1700. Even my early retirement from work was a time not to have fun and travel but a preparation of possibly dieing soon and the need to take care of myself.

Indeed the doctor had gotten to the point where she was concerned I had only a short time yet to live. I couldn't help but think just like my dad my heavenly Father had set my curfew and it was soon time to be home. My time out on the town of life was quickly to be over and my Heavenly Father was saying it was time to come home. No negotiations, no excuses on why I wanted to stay out longer or whatever.

As each day came and went they were a gift of the extension on life God was giving me. Little did I know He was pushing back my curfew without telling me. Then today when I went to the doctor and found out my tumor markers had been cut in half and my medications were working I couldn't help but breath a sigh of relief.

For months now I had been holding my breath just waiting for the next bad news to happen but not today! God had pushed back my curfew with an extension on what time I needed to be home.

At any moment my medicine could stop working again but I can't concern myself with that. What I need to be doing is cherishing daily this extra time with my family and friends and trust God to know when is the best time for me to come home. Like it or not.