Doubt is a part of our human nature. Adam and Eve suffered from it, Thomas struggled with it and Jonah even had his doubts about what God was capable of doing. People doubted Jesus’ claim to who He really was and the list goes on. We still suffer from this disease of doubt ourselves today. We have our doubts that God hears our prayers, we doubt His will. Some go as far as to doubt He even exists or that He really will judge people and punish them for bad behavior and poor choices.
The important thing for us is to not let our waves of doubt get the best of us. Like any emotion it can control us or we can control it. We are the ones who need to make that choice. The best thing we can do with our doubt is to change it one step at a time into great faith. At the beginning of my cancer journey, I had my doubts. I had no idea what was ahead of me, what to expect, what to do. I had a choice to stay in that fear of doubt or move forward one emotion at a time to trust in the Lord that He was going to see me through. At times my doubt got the best of me but I kept going forward towards that mark of faith that has the ability to grow bigger and greater if I allow it.
For example, this weekend when we took three of our grandkids up in the mountains for a drive that wave of doubt came with me. As we stopped to let the kids play in the snow as I stood there taking my grandma pictures from the road doubt and self-pity overtook me. It came upon me as I thought of all the things I could “no longer do with my grandkids.” Before my cancer I would have been one of the first to slide down the snow embankment and start the laughter that would echo in the hills for days to come. “What now, would I never get to do anything again with my grandkids?” I thought to myself. Doubt towards my future swelled up in a matter of minutes.
We don’t need to know exactly what our future holds for us but that doesn’t mean we can’t have faith in the Lord to get us thru whatever we face. Every journey whether it starts with doubt or the greatest of self-confidence should end up in great faith in the Lord.
We don’t need to know everything. We should be thankful that the Lord has revealed to us what He has. The unknown part that which remains can be a part of the mystery covered by the faith in which we have in Him. God in no way belongs in the package we often create for Him to exist within. He’s bigger than anything we can imagine, greater than anything we can picture, larger than anything we can create ourselves.
Believing in Him is not faith that is wasted but faith that yields a good return. It is something that takes us from a wave of doubt to an upsurge of truth faith and the ability to face the future instead of allowing ourselves to be crippled by the present. We can ride the wave in or ride the wave out, one gets us sailing in the right direction of towards faith in God where the other leads us up against the severe bashing against the rocks of despair and doubt on the shore of life. It’s up to us to catch the right wave.
© 2012 Karen Gillett @ Pencil Marks and Recipes