Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Karen's Crossing ~~~~ Strength from Within

Recently Karen’s Crossings took me to San Francisco. My niece Stephanie was scheduled to go down to a hospital there to monitor her seizures once again. A year ago my sister Juli, Stephanie, and I went down for the same purpose. The only difference between the two journeys was the fact that Stephanie knew I was coming down the first time. The second time was planned out to be a surprise.

 Thanks to the grace of God just before they were to fly down to California my husband got a job that allowed me to be able to buy an airplane ticket.

 This was going to be my first journey on an airplane after the discovery of my breast and bone cancer. Not concerned about it I was anxious to go. Unfortunately the more I sat on the airplane the more the area where my bone cancer is in my back began to hurt. By the time my plane landed I was in tears. To be honest I think the tears were more from the pity party I was throwing on board in my lonely seating area than it was from the pain itself.

All I could think of was the fact that I was never going to be able to make it back from San Francisco. How was I going to function down there this time? How was I going to get back if I couldn’t ride in an airplane. Was this my last plane trip ever due to the pain from my cancer?

Deep into my pity party the plane finally landed in my first destination where I was suppose to change planes. Being the poor crippled person I was making myself out to be they really should have had a stretcher waiting for me to take me to my next plane. No, they didn’t. In fact, my next plane was on the total opposite end of the terminal and I had only a few moments to get there. There was no time to call for a wheelchair, stand there in pity, or sit down to cry and take a rest. I walked and cried, I cried and walk and finally I made it to where I needed to be just in time to board. On the next plane I took my pain pill and got out my Bible and proceeded to read. The last long plane ride was done pain free.

We are so like that with our spiritual lives, we spend our entire trip feeling sorry for ourselves and reviewing all the things we don’t have or couldn’t do. Unfortunately if we choose to continue in that frame of mind we are likely to miss our final destination of Heaven because our focus on earth was all off.

There is no time to call for wheelchair backup, stand in pity or sit down to cry and take a rest. We need to keep going in spite of the pain we endure along the way. There may be times we will cry and walk and walk and cry but at least we are moving forward. We may only get there just in time to board but that’s okay as long as we make our journey to Heaven.

The pill we can take to numb the pain is our daily Bible readings, trusting the Lord to see us through, walking in faith, functioning in confidence of God’s promises. Although we may not always admit it the pain we feel can be worth the journey thru it. To see the look on my niece’s face as she saw me at the airport was worth every sharp pain I felt in my back. The time and laughter and appreciation of each other we shared together on the pier and at the hospital in San Francisco were great enough to overshadow any pain I was feeling.  

Our worse enemy is often ourselves as we think our way into places we shouldn’t go. I learned that when I was trying to conqueror my stress seizures and I’m still taking updated classes on it evidently. Some day I hope to graduate, some day I hope to put into practice the daily lessons God has taken His time to prepare for me.

Love you Juli and Stephanie, thanks for a great time in San Francisco. (Even if the camera guy at the aquarium called me “mama!”) Thanks Don for supporting me in my journey as well.

© 2012 Karen J Gillett @ Pencil Marks and Recipes Publishing

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