“For most of this century we have wrongly defined soul wounds as psychological disorders and delegated their treatment to trained specialists. Damaged psyches aren’t the problem. The problem is disconnected souls.” ~ Larry Crabb Connecting - Healing for Ourselves and Our Relationships: A Radical New Vision

The testing of my seizures had begun, the plan was to take me off my epilepsy medicine and hook me up to a monitor to have seizures to find the root of the problem. Seven years of my disabling disease was enough, it was time to know the cause. Being very cooperate I had plenty of seizures for the analyzing process to be done.

The verdict was in almost as quickly as the seizures were out. The cause was scar tissue left over from an old brain surgery I had when I was 12 years old in order to remove a subdural hematoma. Evidently brain waves were hitting the scar tissue and then going the wrong way resulting in the uncontrollable seizures I had been having for so long. It was good to hear there was a cause to all this madness that had me disabled, haunted day and night with so many seizures. What a relief. This meant I could have the brain surgery to correct the whole problem, right? Wrong.

Unfortunately the scar tissue disarray was only responsible for 10% of my actual seizures. The other 90% were stress caused. Instantly the recommendation from the doctors wasn’t for me to have the surgery but to see a psychiatrist instead. Striking out in frustration I figure it was them that needed the head doctor not me for not giving me the go ahead to have the surgery.

Frustrated or not, deep down in my heart I knew if I was allowing stress to affect me in that manner there was only one place to turn and that was to God. Some where between accepting Christ into my life and then I was suffering from a disconnected soul or one that was on the verge of being disconnected. I had allowed the world and its stress to occupy 90% of my thinking and it was time to change.

God was going to eventually grant me my healing five years after the fact but I had to take care of the spiritual part first. Throughout Christ’s ministry on earth that is exactly how He handled various situations it was spiritual food before the physical food, spiritual healing before the physical healing. He knew it was more important to take care of disconnected souls. After all that was why He was here.

What Christ has to offer is a permanent solution to temporary problems. It’s important that we don’t quickly jump in with a label machine and slap a tag on someone and call it good. In my five year journey I stopped in to see a psychiatrist once and found it helpful to learn just how the mind operates. It’s rational, it’s thinking process, the fact that there are separate group of thinkers that view and see things totally opposite of each other. It helped me deal with that part of the process. With that information I took it back to God for more of that permanent solution I knew He had for me. I was a sheep that had gone astray not because of things I was doing but thoughts I was thinking. I had given Satan the upper hand and he was playing it.

The definition of insanity they say is doing something the same way and expecting different results. I needed different results. We all need different results. We are all guilty of trying it “our way” first. Eve, our great, great, great grandmother far removed proved that in the garden years ago.

It doesn’t end with God it starts with God, He’s not our last resort but out first one, our only one. We have to want to connect or reconnect our disconnected souls. What a praise to know the connection with our name on it between us and God isn’t plugged but remains open for us to make the first move. We’re not waiting for Him, He’s waiting for us.

Copyright 2009 Karen J. Gillett @ Pencil Marks and Recipes Publishing