Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Bring to Me

Then Jesus answered and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him here to Me.” And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him; and the child was cured from that very hour. Matthew 17:17,18 (NKJV)

One day while reading the story of the young boy who was cured of his seizures in Matthew 17:14-21 I noticed the beginning of tears forming in my eyes ready to race down my cheeks following the pull of gravity. Taking the time to pinpoint the source of those tears I began to reflect back on the day the Lord showed me, His daughter, the same mercy that He showed that young boy. A story of an epileptic girl that was cured 17 years ago in a hospital operating room in Portland Oregon from a seizure disorder that started when I was 20 years old. A story that will never make it’s way to the Bible like the young epileptic boy did but a story that made its way into my heart.

Five years prior to my actual cure I had gone to the state of Washington in hopes of being cured of 12 years of uncontrolled seizures. After several days of testing I was turned away similar to that of the epileptic boy when he tried going to the disciples first, who due to their lack of faith were unable to help the boy.

In my situation it wasn’t a lack of faith that turned me away from being cured but a testing of my faith that was to take place first before the final victory. The testing done in the Washington hospital had solved the mystery of what the cause of my seizures was. It was the scar tissue left over from the brain surgery I had when I was in Jr High that resulted from a head injury on a school bus. Brain waves were hitting the scar tissue sending them off in wrong directions bringing on the seizures.

The next news they told me wasn’t so pleasant to hear. They said 90% of my seizures were stressed caused and only 10 % were epileptic, therefore the surgery would not benefit me and I was denied this chance to be cured. Their best recommendation was that I find a psychiatrist to take care of that 90%. To me at that moment it sounded like they were the ones that needed the psychiatrist! However, if what they were telling me was true about the 90% of my seizures being stressed caused I knew I needed to take it to the Lord and I did.

I decided to use the seizures to work for me instead of against me as I treated them as a tattletale for what was bothering me deep down inside. Whenever I had a seizure it was them telling me to pay attention to whatever it was I needed to deal with. After each seizure I would pray to the Lord in an attempt to figure out just what it was that triggered the spell keeping a journal of surrounding circumstances and events. In order to ward off any seizures in the future from happening the source of where they were coming from was a puzzle I had to solve. Where they were going to end was a choice I had to make on a daily basis.

Before long I found myself going to the Lord prior to a seizure even coming. With practice I became skilled at recognizing situations and attitudes or thoughts that triggered these stress seizures in my life in order to tackle them before they tackled me. Thus with faith and prayer, mixed with trust and determination the Lord and I began together a journey that took me through the next 5 years of my life.

Unknown to me where this voyage of willpower was taking me, God knew the direction we were heading together as He soon revealed to me. One day when I went to my neurologist to report on my latest seizure activities he looked at me and said, “Enough was enough, Karen. I’m sending you to another epileptic facility in Portland Oregon.” At last, after more testing and further evaluation it was found that the stress seizures were now gone and my surgery date was set for June 13, 1990.

What seemed to take a lot of faith, to Christ was only a mustard seed, making what appeared like the impossible possible. It was a lesson well learnt, worth the 5 years delay in my cure that was soon to come. Had I been unsuccessful in conquering my stress seizures Jesus would have said to me what He did to the disciples, “How long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?”

But no, faith first had cured the stress seizures that were controlling 90% of my life. Finally, I heard the words that the man heard that day when Christ said, “Bring the boy here to me.” The words He used in Portland when He said, “Bring Karen to me.”

One by one as the years pass by after my healing I think of the cure, the victory, and the process it all took to get where I am today. The cards I had received back then are now replaced with the card God has given me to read in the form of the Bible that He signed Himself when Christ died for me on the cross. A card I open to read daily the words He wrote for me so long ago. Totally different than a card purchased in the store that needs picked out according to the occasion, the Lord’s expression of love covers every circumstance in my life.

The flowers I now am given come in God’s artwork as I’m able to walk outside amongst them at any time without supervision in order to marvel over their beauty. Flowers that to this day still bloom every spring just for me. My gift, my gift is the ability to play with my four grandchildren without having to worry about having a seizure. The gift of being able to hold them ever since they were newborn babies without someone watching over me to make sure I didn’t have a seizure and hurt them.

My gift is being able to hold their hands in the shower to make sure they don’t slip instead of them holding mine in case of a spell. The gift of being able to use my shower time as an appointment time with God to pray for my grandchildren instead of one spent in fear. Lifting them one by one, placing them upon God’s lap, for Him to watch over as He has watched over me. That they will forever hold His hand, the very hand that cured their grandmother through the hands of a surgeon, through the hands of her own faith and trust.

My gift is my family, husband, daughter, friends, church and even total strangers who each and everyone were there for me to hold my hand before, during or after many seizures. Watching over me, escorting me places, hugging me when needed. There beside me willing to even change my clothes whenever I wet my pants during a seizure and so much more. My gift is my ability to now drive to a job that I went to college for just months before my seizures began. My gift is my Lord, which said that day, “Bring Karen to me” who had more faith in me that I had in myself.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. And without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:1,6 (NIV)

Believing is a must
Faith is a must

“He said to her (the bleeding woman),
“Daughter, your faith has healed you.
Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
Mark 5:24-34 (NIV)

Closing thought: Whether medical or spiritual, curable or not we need to bring it all to the Lord for the healing that needs to take place in our lives. The outcome may not be one of total cure but it will be an ending that can be glorious as we learn to rely, trust, and believe in the One who can do the impossible. Remembering always that we do have our part to do as we obediently learn to follow God with our best foot forward that will take us where we need to be in Christ. Christ saying “Bring to me,” is an invitation open to all. Don’t ignore it.

Copyright 2007 by Karen J. Gillett @ Pencil Marks and Recipes Publishing

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